This is the time of year when I start reflecting, sort of a year in review. 2019 marks year two, time lived ‘after’ the death of our son. I am healing, the bad days are becoming farther apart, and happier memories are beginning to creep into my thoughts more and more. ‘Finding Beauty Wherever I Go’ has brought me great joy, and adopting Scruffy has truly brought life back into our home. I take so many photos every day, it creates a diary of sorts for me. As I scrolled through this photo diary today, I came across my high school senior picture. It’s funny, I have millions of photos dating back to the time when my son was a baby, but only a handful of photos from my childhood. When I clicked on the ad from classmates.com and scrolled through the images, I never imagined I would actually come across a photo of me! Took me back in time for a bit and had me thinking, what if? What if I chose a different path? How different would my life have turned out? I don’t remember choosing the quote listed with my photo but it almost seemed as if I knew my path even back then. Go figure.
In 2019 we chose to use our vacation days for two week long trips, Kerr Lake and Cherokee. The remaining few days we each took a long weekend with friends, Robert rode the trike to West Virginia and I went for a girls weekend, shopping a 100 mile yard sale event across three counties. In between all our home improvement projects, we snuck in a bunch of day trips, I love being out and about checking out new things. As we prepare to welcome in 2020 there are so many things that I want to do. I have accumulated quite a bucket list and it seems to grow daily. BUT … we are listing our house! We are finishing up now, and will be reaching out to real estate agents very soon! We are going to bank our vacation days in anticipation of MOVING! I am so excited! We will be getting out and about next year, but will only be short trips within a few hours drive. I always end the year with a solo trip to the beach. A little beach therapy session, and a way to feel closer to my son. The waves rolling in across the cool sand, and the breeze in my face, brings me peace. Standing at the waters edge, eyes shut, soaking up the sunshine, a wave crashed into me up to my shins. The shock of cool water made me gasp, but it still brought a smile to my face, knowing that somehow my son had a hand in that.